his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
oh god was she eating orange peels again
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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