I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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