I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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