you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
