He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
