i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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