I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
