hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
