on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize