He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
