oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
