I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
