so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
