I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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