Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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