I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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