Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
