Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
