She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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