absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
