Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
