I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
