Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
