I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
