real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
