i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
