it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
