Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i think my cat just said my name.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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