I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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