sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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