Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
