oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
