Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
