Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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