I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
