I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
