Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
