Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize