I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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