Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
