Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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