yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize