Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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