They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
