You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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