The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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