Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
