just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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