FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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