brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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