I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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