toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
