Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
