none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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