I faked an abortion last night.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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