Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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