I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
