i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
