I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
