Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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