Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There's always time for handjobs
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
