Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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