Duck Duck Cougar?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
