Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
