That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
