was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
