that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
